Becoming My Own Safe Place

When I first started working with kids on the spectrum, I learned how powerful calm energy can be. They mirrored my mood: if I was rushed, they tensed; if I exhaled, they smiled.It hit me—no one had ever taught me to offer that same gentleness to myself.

So I began practicing self-comfort like it was a new language. Instead of “What’s wrong with you?” I tried, “You’re overwhelmed, not broken.”Instead of doom-scrolling, I lit a candle and listened to music without lyrics. I built a safety net out of tiny rituals: peppermint tea, journaling, and going outside before I check my phone.

The world tells us safety is somewhere else—someone else. But learning to be my own soft landing changed everything. It doesn’t mean I never need others; it means when no one’s around, I still have a home inside my ribs.